


Friends Don't Let Friends Exfoliate

by Ononymous



Series: Christmas 2017 Stories and Requests [13]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Just Say No Kids, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 04:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13287012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: Aaron discovers a filthy secret of Woshua's and is determined to help him.





	Friends Don't Let Friends Exfoliate

**Author's Note:**

> Original request: Woshua on Bath Salts

"Hmm. Maybe just two more coats of wax and the teddy bear would be clean enough..."

_Knock-knock-knock._

"Hmmmmmmm. Alright, you've earned a reprieve."

Woshua trotted over the immaculate white tiles of his kitchen, the only sound the spashing of water on his back, and approached the front door, fumbling with the handle custom-placed ten inches from the ground to accommodate his quadrupedal nature.

"Wosh, dude! What's up?"

"Oh, hi Aaron. I'm just-"

"Washing something, right?"

"Well yes," he said, ignoring the jest. "Would you like to come in?"

Aaron glided into the hall, pausing briefly to check that his mane still looked windswept and interesting while resting on the rippling muscles of his back, before following Woshua back into the kitchen.

"Careful, I mopped the floor this morning."

"Dude, I can't slip on it if I float."

"Slip? No, just don't step on it."

"But I... Never mind. You wouldn't have something to drink?"

"Sure. Sea Tea? Golden Flower Tea? Human Novelty Grass Flavoured Tea?"

"Nah. But you know what I want? A Par-Tea!"

"...you've been working on that line."

"Heck yeah! Look, Dub and Dave are throwing a party, and I haven't seen much of you in a while..."

"I've been busy-"

"Washing, yeah I know, but we should totally hang out at their party! They have the best hot sauce to come from the Underground!"

Aaron noticed a curious glint in Woshua's eyes, but it vanished before he could give it much thought.

"Aren't they notoriously sloppy with their sauces? It could get filthy."

"Dude, parties get filthy. Come on Wosh, let your rubber duck down!"

The duck in question squeaked in what may have been agreement. Aaron put his best winner-smile on to encourage his obviously conflicted friend. Meanwhile Woshua rubbed his feet on the floor like he was scrubbing it.

"...when is it?"

"Couple of hours! Before it starts I thought we could pick up some chisps or something to bring along."

"Okay. Just give me ten minutes."

Aaron couldn't suppress a flex of delight. "Sure thing, dude!"

Woshua scurried to the stairs and clambered up them. Phew, getting your friend to come out with his shell is thirsty work. Locating a glass Aaron filled it up from the tap and drained it. At that moment, Woshua's phone rang.

"Dude?"

Woshua didn't answer. Aaron silently zipped over to the phone and picked it up.

"Whassup Woshy my man?! You still good to pick it up tomorrow?"

"Uh, sorry lady, Woshua's not available. You want me to take a message?"

The person on the line went silent, and then hung up. Weird. Pretty sure whoever that was got the right number, why get so timid? Did she sense how awesome his muscles were? Besides it sounded like it would matter to Woshua, so he floated upstairs to find him. The bedroom door was open, but the bathroom wasn't.

"Yo Wosh, a lady was on the phone asking-"

It was the smell he registered before anything else. An overwhelming ever-pervasive smell of lavender. Then came the noise. A meek gargle, contrasted with what sounded like a despairing drawn out squeak. Finally Aaron paid attention to the bathroom's occupant. Woshua rested his forelegs on the rim of the sink, eyes bulging with a manic energy, while his water was frothing and bubbling, the duck being tossed about in the localised tempest.

"Woshua?"

He'd finally realised he wasn't alone. He almost fell on his tank in turning around to face Aaron, and while the smile on his face might have been fine on its own, the darting eyes that were juxtaposed against it signaled that something was wrong.

"Aaron! We going for chisps now?! Let's starving, I'm eat! _HeydidyouseeVulkintheotherdayshelookedreally-_ "

A pair of fins struck Woshua as Aaron interrupted his mania with his own tail. "Dude, are you okay?"

Woshua shook his head, and his next words were delivered with precise intent. "Yes. I'm fine, Aaron. I'm looking forward to the party, that's all."

"Uhhh, okay. Hey you dropped this."

"NO DON'T-"

Too late. Aaron picked up the packet. As lavender in colour as the room was in aroma, a picture of a human sitting in a bathtub looking like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Woshua... buddy... are these... Bath Salts?!"

"No what on earth ever made you think that can we go get chisps now?!"

"I dunno, the word 'Bath Salts' on the packet was a clue."

"GIVE IT HERE!"

A tendril comprised solely of water whipped up from Woshua's tank and wrapped around the packet, but with a quick flex Aaron held onto it.

" _PLEASE! I NEED IT!_ "

"You need-?! Then you've been..."

"Don't pour your filthy aspertions on me!"

A much less focused jet of water pushed Aaron back, and he dropped the packet in the process. Before he could recover, Woshua had retrieved the packet and finished emptying it into his back. The nervous energy seemed to vanish for a moment as a look of relief spread across his scaly face, pleasant bubbles forming on his back, threatening to smother his duck. It was a morbid sight.

"Dude... How long?"

"Wh-what?" He'd forgotten Aaron was there. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't do this every day, just when I need to stop thinking how filthy the surface is. Do you know how hard it is to keep clean, even in my own house?"

"Bro, come on, this isn't-"

"Don't pity me! If it weren't for 'bubbles' you probably wouldn't see me at all! It helps me feel clean even when I'm getting hot sauce splashed on me by a duck that drank too much punch!"

"Do you even know what that stuff does to monsters over the long run?"

"No, and neither do you."

"Well yeah, but-"

"And I don't care. It's this or just thinking about all the _filth_ and even I need a break from that!"

"Bro, there are other ways."

"Like what. Talking to people?!"

"Well, yeah."

"Too much hassle. I tried talking to Jerry about it once, and all I could think of was all that cheetoh dust on his fingers!"

"No, Dude, this isn't healthy. Where's your stash?"

Woshua's defiant look was betrayed by a momentary glance at the never used toilet. Putting on his most this-is-for-your-own-good sad smile, Aaron floated over to it and lifted the lid off the cistern, revealing three full boxes of bath salts.

" **THAT'S PRIVATE! WOSH U MANNERS!** "

Another unfocused jet of water sprang from the tiny monster, but Aaron was ready for it. With a determined grunt he flexed his left triceps and right biceps, the magnificence of the flex deflecting the deluge into the also never used bath tub. He then grabbed two boxes and threw them out the window, but Woshua nabbed the third with another tendril.

"Dude, give it!"

"No!"

He was already trying to rip open another packet, but his forelegs trembled so badly with the stress of the situation he spilled its contents on the floor. Undeterred he opened his mouth and tried to lick a few crystals, but Aaron simply picked him up, his immaculate musculature restraining the flailing figure.

"Woshua, If you've reached the point of licking it off the floor, then you've got a problem. You need help, Bro!"

"No, I just need it to party! You want me to party, right? That's how! I'm so excited! I'm so excited!"

Aaron directed the struggling monster to the mirror. That's when Woshua saw it. The face terrified him with how uncontrolled it was, how desperate it was for just a morsel of relief from the real world. It was undignified. It was... He was...

"I'm... so... _filthy_..."

He slumped in Aaron's arms. Instinctively recognising he'd won the struggle, Aaron brought him closer to comfort him.

"Dude, it's okay... We'll help you deal with it..."

The rubber duck gave a long drawn out squeak of encouragement.

* * *

"I don't know about this, Aaron."

"It's totally legit, Dude! Shyren told me about it when I was visiting my brother with her."

"B-but I think I've been doing well."

"I know you have Woshua, but these guys will help you to keep doing well. They won't judge. Nobody should have to deal with it alone. Now I'll be at the gym next door if it gets too deep, okay?"

"...alright."

Woshua turned from his winking friend and into the hall, where a circle of chairs had been laid out. All but one was occupied, mostly monsters but a few humans as well. He took the last seat.

"Um, g-good afternoon everyone. B-before we start, we h-have a new m-member."

Being forewarned this was part of it, Woshua simply stood up in his chair. "My name's Woshua..."

"Hello, Woshua."

"...and I've been... filthy for the last six weeks."

There was a spattering of polite applause. It was encouraging.

**Author's Note:**

> Pastebin Version: https://pastebin.com/VrTEK3yw
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
